Scrappy Hearts

Big Beach Girls

That's it, no longer will the girls be content to lounge at the bay beach. They have officially graduated to the big beach, home of the roaring surf and waves just itching to carry the two of them back to shore. What fun they had learning to ride the waves on their boogie boards! I think Emma really enjoyed being knocked over and tossed about in the wave breaks. She giggled and rolled about in the water. It reminded me so much of my Jess, the original beach girl.

The weather over the weekend fully supported long lazy days at the beach. It was well over 90 degrees both Saturday and Sunday which called for a packed picnic lunch, lots of sunscreen and at least 4 solid hours of nothing but sand, surf and sun. We could not have asked for a better weekend!

I'm a Sucker,

for the nostalgic, hopeless romantic way of thinking. So, a couple of weeks ago when I was in Ocean City with Mark I pined for a ride on the "big" wheel with the one I love. I was remembering the Freddy Cannon song "Palisades Park". It was the lyrics, "you never know how great a kiss can feel til you stop at the top of the ferris wheel" that I wanted to experience for myself! Alright, I already confessed to being a sucker.

So, before we let too many nights slip away we forked over the bucks, big ones at that, and found ourselves spinning high into the sky aboard a blue gondola.

It was a beautifully clear evening and we had stellar views of Atlantic City with it's gleaming neon lights. The boardwalk glistened below. As promised, the wheel stopped just as our car reached the summit and there I got my long awaited kiss. No details, but really a moment among many that deserves to be remembered and cherished. Oh, for the simple pleasures we are blessed to experience.

As for the real Palisades Park, I was a mere 12 years of age the one and only time I experienced that icon of New Jersey which sat atop the Palisades along the Hudson River, overlooking upper Manhattan. It was a sultry hot evening and I remember wishing that I was older. I watched as the older girls negotiated the park with their boyfriends in tow and in that moment I wanted to be them. Not long after my visit the park fell into disrepair and was sold for development. The song and the memories linger on.

The Design Wall

I like to call it that. It sounds more professional. In actuality, however, it is more of a layout wall. It is, a large piece of batting hung in the hallway between my two upstairs bedrooms. I place quilt squares there when I am trying to decide the order blocks should be laid out. Today I moved the t-shirt quilt off the wall and I finished sewing the rows together. Now I am struggling with the best way to finish the quilt. Borders and sashing are the next steps and, to be quite honest with you, I am not sure how to continue. The quilt continues to be a work in progress. No point in leaving the rows on the design wall. (They are now on my bed!)

Time to look at something different!

This beautiful collection of blocks is from a Saturday Sampler, back in 2005. I completed the blocks for this quilt, one block per month. And, since 2006, it has sat in a basket along with the finishing kit. Now it is time to pull it together. Long overdue I might add. I love these blocks. They are all variations of the star block, my favorite. And, I must admit, I am a sucker for the red, white and blue, color combination. Some of these squares have a little gold tossed in for good measure. The sashing, the fabric strips used between the blocks, is a little complicated. At each corner a pinwheel block will be formed. It will be beautiful once it is completed but it requires a little more attention to detail which means that it belongs on the wall while I piece the blocks together.

It felt good to sew today. I have been craving a date with my machine for a long time. Today, between the loads of wash and the multitude of other items on my to-do list, I managed to squeeze in some sewing. I am going to try to do that everyday that I am home. Perhaps it will be just what I need to complete some of those unfinished objects (UFO's) that I have laying around!

Bittersweet

To say this was a difficult year would be a definite understatement. I have been counting down the days since the first day the students arrived last September. Really, so not me. But I had my reasons. There was the day that a child wrote with feces on the wall and the day one student decided to threaten the life of my substitute.  And really, so many other instances, just like that. I was over-whelmed. There were suspensions before November and did I mention that I teach in a school where these things just do not happen. So, I started counting. I prayed for the end of this year and a chance to regain a part of my sanity.

Today, when I greeted the little cherubs at the door, I was ready to say good-bye. I was so not prepared for the emotions the day would bring or the moments of quiet reflection that helped me to gain new insight into the experiences of this past year. There was the letter I received from one little girl's parents, heartfelt and sincere that caused me to tear up. The apology from one of my most challenging students. "Ms. Miller, I know that I am difficult. I wanted to thank you for putting up with me and I am sorry that I was not better behaved. You have always been good to me." And of course, there were my little kindergarten pals. My fan club. The asked if they could skip 1st grade and go right to 4th. "We can read Ms. Miller, we're ready!"

Today was also the last day I would work with one of my grade level partners who is being moved to another building. That brought tears to my eyes each time we saw each other. I am so happy that she will have a position next year, but I am so sad that it is not with me. She helped me to be a better teacher and our collaborative times were truly inspiring. We felt like we could do just about anything. It seems so wrong to mess with a good thing.

And that is how today went. Tears, small smiles when memories were shared and then more tears. In the quiet moments between the emotion I realized that it is only because of the challenge of the experience, this or any other, that I am ever able to experience great joy. The hugs I received were sincere. They were given by students that knew they were capable of good work and that understood that I was there to support them each step of the way. And although the behaviors were problematic, that was never the gauge by which they were measured or attended to. That perhaps was the success of this year. The fact that they have found memories of their fourth grade experience speaks volumes.

Bittersweet. Perhaps too late I realize the value of this year. Hopefully I will carry that realization with me, the understanding that the resulting joy is at times the true value of a challenge.

Hanging on the Boardwalk

I grew up spending my summers on a small island off the coast of New Jersey. No boardwalk, just 18 miles of the prettiest beaches I have ever seen. So, when the opportunity was presented to spend time on the boardwalk I wondered aloud, why? Really, I am a beach girl, not so sure about the lure of the boardwalk. My faint memories of boardwalks included those at Asbury Park, Seaside Heights and Wildwood. None of which are high on my must revisit list. So I ventured forth and found that a beach girl can indeed love the boardwalk.

What's not to love? Two and a half miles of uninterrupted ocean views, unlimited people watching opportunities and a flat walking surface to boot! And, to top it all off, soft serve every 50 yards or so. Gotta love that! All kidding aside, there is nothing like walking to the rhythm of the crashing waves; something I have been missing since I moved from LBI. Last week I made up for it by walking at least once a day, if not twice, to the beginning of the boardwalk in Ocean City.

I guess that having a terrific walking partner helped to seal the deal. But I must admit, I really enjoyed the time I spent on the Boardwalk and I cannot wait to return.

Time to Relax

And just spend time together. That was the gift of this past week. Mark arrived from Seattle on the 4th and we were blessed with a week at the beach, surrounded by family; as well as a few stolen moments, days actually, to call our own.

I struggle with the distance which, according to MapQuest, is 2,833.42 miles door to door. I am not good with time apart. While I appreciate that absence makes the heart grow fonder, I get just a wee bit cranky when we are apart too long. Accepting this time for the blessing that it is, well let's face it, that's not in my nature. In a word, patience. I don't have it. But, this week gave us the opportunity to talk about plans and moving towards our future. One that will find us not only in the same time zone, but in the same house. Remarkable.

Plans, goals and dreams. An opportunity to create a life we desire, together, well, that's the real blessing.

Trying hard to appreciate this time for the opportunity it presents and just being grateful for the gift that Mark is.

Today the Daisies Bloomed

and tomorrow Mark and I will have been together one year. Serendipitous.

“And what’s romance? Usually, a nice little tale where you have everything as you like, where rain never wets your jacket and gnats never bite your nose, and it’s always daisy-time.”

D.H. Lawrence

And So It Begins...

summer that is. Memorial Day weekend typically marks the beginning of summer for the girls and I. It is the first weekend we spend at the beach. It is a much anticipated weekend since we are beach girls. This year the weather cooperated and we were blessed with hours of nothing to do but loll around!

Traditionally we say our hellos to the ocean and the bay and then spend most of our time hanging at the park. But this year, the weather was glorious so we were able to spend a couple of hours just enjoying the ocean. It has been our routine to spend our beach days at the bay, but I sense that changing now that the girls are older and more confident in the water. Perhaps confident is not the appropriate word. In Emma's case I think the word is brazen. She dared the ocean to knock her over and when it did, she giggled and rolled around in the water. She definitely reminds me of my Jessie at that age, even her ability to endure water temperatures in the low 60's.

Other traditions include walking the jetty and the nature trail, both of which are in the shadow of the lighthouse. Our annual climb to the top of the lighthouse will not happen until later in the season, sometime during the week. Once Memorial Day arrives, weekends are just too crowded to do the touristy activities.

Our trip to the beach included the collection of shells. One of the Joycie rules we have is that the girls can only bring one shell home each of their visits to the beach. We need to save some of the shells for those that do not have the opportunity to spend endless days on the beach like we are want to do.

There was an abundance of shells and many to pick from. Not sure how Emma decided but she gathered a few for her collection over the three days we were able to visit the beach.

Flip flops are a true sign that summer has arrived as regular shoes are relegated to the closet.

Life was not all fun and games, we had work to do. The gardens needed to be weeded and plants needed to be placed in the beds. Fortunately the girls were up to the challenge and the house is looking good!

Well, there you have it. Summer has begun. We are free to wear white pants, according to Liv, and flip flops. Life is good!